My Life as a Monty Python Skit

We've all heard about the bureaucratic nightmares accompanied with living in France, but I honestly didn't think anywhere could be worse than India. I was wrong. Setting up a bank account here has been so complicated it's almost comical. Almost.

I had my father help me while he and my mum were visiting and we conveniently decided to begin our quest on a Monday... when almost every single bank in Paris is closed. We did eventually find one that was open after calling around, however they were conveniently not open from 12-2pm. Of course. Why would anyone be open during lunch? That would be madness.

We paused our search to eat and returned at 2pm only to be told by the bank teller that they couldn't possibly open an account for me because I was an international. I must go to the international branch of the bank.

Very well. We walked about 25 minutes to the international branch with all of my paperwork, ready to give it another go. Side note: I'm not even going to list the paperwork required because that alone will give you a headache. Arriving at the international bank, we were told that the minimum for opening an account was €10 million. I don't think that's what we had in mind... They explained that the branch we had gone to previously is perfectly capable of opening an account for me but they're constantly sending people over to the international branch. At least I wasn't the first confused étrangère to walk in there.

They sent us a few blocks down to another branch that "should be able to" help us. Finally, this was true, but we had to make an appointment. We set up a rendez-vous for Thursday morning and confirmed with them which paperwork we would need. We left a little tired and irritated but feeling confident that I would have a bank account on Thursday. Wrong. So very wrong.

Thursday rolled around and we arrived several minutes early, but were still seen late. After going over the basics of the account, the teller explained that the paperwork I had brought with me was insufficient (even though they're the ones who told me what to bring) and I would need to get another document proving my residence in France. Can I go print it and bring it back to you? No. Can I set up the account and give it to you as soon as I leave via email? No. We must set up another appointment. When was their earliest available appointment? Next Wednesday, almost a week later...

At this point, my parents had left and I was nervous about my French skills but I went back on the Wednesday and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she told me all of my paperwork was in order. I then sat there signing my life away for about an hour switching back and forth between French and English with the nice bank lady. Okay, it is good. It's open? I'm done? Oui! And when the bank checks everything out, you can have your bank card. Pause. THERE'S ANOTHER STEP?!

I wanted to scream and tear up all the paperwork. Instead, I went home and waited patiently. About a week later, I received an email saying that my bank account had been validated and I could come retrieve my carte bancaire at my earliest convenience. Naturally, I went in later that afternoon... only to be told that No no no, it was validated today so your card will be ready at the end of the week. Pause. What? And no, you can't pay your landlord yet even though your account exists and there is money in it. I sat there dumbfounded and exhausted. I left and waited for Friday.

On Friday, I returned to retrieve my bank card without the paperwork that was, without my knowledge, sitting happily in my mailbox that I never check. By some miracle (more likely their pity for me), they still gave it to me and I was able to pay my landlord with the help of the teller. At least I won't be homeless on Monday! The catch? I still couldn't use my card now that I had it because I must find the right code buried in one of the ten letters they sent me and then activate it on a machine.

...

Isn't this fun?

August Travels: Part 2

Once we made it back to Paris, we stayed in an apartment for a few days just outside of the city and then headed back into the center for the last couple of days. While we were staying in the apartment, we took advantage of being within easy driving distance of many beautiful sights to see. We split it into two days: Chartres & Giverny and Versailles got it's own day.

Day One: Chartres & Giverny
The Cathédrale de Chartres is an absolutely stunning piece of architecture. With one tower built in the Romanesque style and another Gothic (built at different times), its flying buttresses (who doesn't like saying that?) and beautiful stained glass so unique that one of the blues cannot even be replicated today because no one knows how they made it, it is an incredible sight to see. We walked around inside, I lit a candle for my friends and family as I like to do when I visit churches on my travels, and then we climbed the belltower to admire the view and check out the gargoyles. There was no sign at the bottom warning the elderly and unfit against the climb so we set out eagerly to get to the top and then at some point I started feeling like the child I could hear below me screaming, combien de temps?! combien de teeemmpppps?! I feel you, child. I really do. We're almost there.

Looking into the tower on our climb up to the top

It was worth the ~300 steps (I counted on the way down). The views were spectacular and I felt a bit like Quasimodo climbing around up there. It was a little freaky looking down to the street and realizing how far up we'd gone, but it was such a freeing feeling at the same time. We even got to hear the bells ring at noon while we were up there. A bit scary at first, but beautiful.

Looking out over the city

After a long and dizzying climb back down, we made our way back to the car to head to our next location: Giverny. We picnicked in the car with baguettes, brie, some other fancy cheese, and a few different tapenades and hummus as we wound our way through little French villages.

Looking down towards Monet's house in the center of the main gardens

Unfortunately, Giverny was absolutely mobbed. There were a few tourists at Chartres, but it wasn't so bad that you wanted to run out of there screaming. At Giverny, I was a little overwhelmed to say the least. I also wonder how many of those people genuinely care about Monet's history and work or if they're just there because it's "famous" and a "must-see." Oh well. We really enjoyed our walk through the gardens, visiting the lily pond, walking through his rooms and art collections, and our brief visit to the impressionism museum nearby. Hopefully I'll find a time to go back and visit when it's more quiet.

Les Nymphéas

Day Two: Versailles
Talk about a tourist attraction. Those rooms were like a Japanese subway train. I spent the whole day challenging myself with strategic photography to make it look like nobody else was there. This involved many pictures of the ceiling and carefully timed photographs or the use of reflective surfaces. Speaking of reflective surfaces... The Hall of Mirrors is not that nice. I'm sorry, but it's not. Not in comparison to the rest of the palace anyways. I have no idea why everyone insists on cramming in there. The Gallery of Battles was much more beautiful in my opinion (as were many other rooms) and it was nearly empty in comparison because, my guess, nobody actually cares about history. They just want to look at pretty things, or even worse things that other people tell them are pretty. Sorry, this is turning into 20 reasons I hate blind tourists. I thoroughly enjoyed myself at all of these locations. I just don't do well in crowds. Clearly.

An Intimate Gathering

My reaction to crowds...

Ah, much better.

Above is an example of my strategic ceiling photography. I also figured out there there was one corner of the Hall of Mirrors that emptied out every 2-3 minutes as tour groups came and went...

All alone in the Hall of Mirrors ;)

When I wasn't being weird and having panic attacks or losing my family as I ran through the crowds, I was in awe at the beauty and history surrounding me. The gold. The colors. The magnificence of it all. I wandered through the palace trying to imagine what it would have been like to be a member of the Court of Versailles. I imagined the wedding between the Dauphine of France and Louis-Auguste (to become Louis XVI) as we walked through the Royal Chapel. I tried to comprehend that, as I stood in the King's Bedchamber, I was standing in the very room where Louis XV died. I tried to picture Louis XVI sitting at his desk and locking his secrets in its safe when he left for hunting trips. What an incredible story this place has. Yes, I ignored the whole revolution piece while I was there.

The King's Bedchamber

Gold leaf on the ceiling

Louis XVI's "Secrets" Desk

And that's just a tiny piece of it. The gardens are spectacular. Marie Antoinette's Petit Trianon and the Queen's Hamlet are incredible. The farm is still running and it was entertaining to think of Marie Antoinette playing milkmaid in her little village, especially after visiting her extravagant "little" houses which, I'll admit, did seem rather dull compared to the main Château.

L'orangerie

My cousin, me, and my mother at the Queen's Hamlet!

All in all, it was an incredible day. We spent eight hours wandering the palace grounds and we didn't even get to see everything! I want to go back and visit the Grand Trianon and maybe visit some other parts of the palace I didn't get to see. Oh, and you can take a rowboat out on the Grand Canal? Talk about the best date ever. *cough* future suitors, take note *cough*

I will definitely be returning. Just not anytime soon. I'm thinking October/November when the tourists are no longer in full force...

It was a lot of fun having my parents here for a couple of weeks and being able to visit all these cool places. And my cousin joined us for a full week! I think that's the most time we've ever spent together... seriously... anyways, it was so great exploring France and seeing as much as we did! I needed a few day's rest when it was all over, but it was worth it. Now for a little normalcy. I think I have to go to school soon or something...?

xo A

August Travels: Part 1

I'm alive! I can't believe it's almost been a month since my last post. I've basically been traveling non-stop since then. Parisians take off for the month of August to use up some of their seven or eight weeks vacation (seriously, I know people with eight weeks vacation... what do you even do with all of that?) so I did as the Parisians do and spent the last month traveling!

First I was in Mulhouse, France (near the border of Switzerland) for a girls parkour event, then Munich for an international parkour event (both of which you can read about on my other blog), then my parents arrived and we set out for our own *gasp* non-parkour adventures. Although I did squeeze in some jumping here and there...

The first part of our journey was in the South of France. We went to stay with my grandmother's youngest sister and her family in Vidauban which is in the Var department of the Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur region of France. We stayed there for just about a week, taking in the sun and the dry heat, the beautiful scenery, and the fantastic scents of the south. Lavender, Rosemary, and other herbes de provence.

Of course, we couldn't just sit at the house all day for a week. In between croissants & cafés and our two-hour typical-French lunches and dinners, we took little journeys to the river or the winery across the street from our family's home—Château Saint Julien d'Aille. We did a little tour of the winery and stayed for a dégustation, tasting the whites, reds, and the wines the region is famous for—their rosé.

My cousin Elena & I in front of the winery!

We also took a couple of days at the beach at Sainte-Maxime. It's right across from St. Tropez but we didn't want to deal with the crowds so we opted out of the ferry ride over to the land of the rich & famous and their yachts. The beach was wonderful. The water was warm, we ate crêpes with our toes in the sand, and I just lay there roasting in the sun. My paradise.

Another trip we squeezed in was a day-trip to Monaco. It was about an hour drive from the house so we figured why not? You could smell the money when you arrived. The whole country is just dripping in luxury. The yachts were magnificent, the views spectacular, and the cars so jaw-droppingly beautiful that a Mercedes started to look like a piece of junk. Here's a short sampling of what we saw (and drooled over): Bentley, Aston Martin, Lamborghini, Maserati, Rolls Royce, Jaguar, Porsche, Ferrari, you get the idea...

Dad & I standing with the "Imagine" in the Harbor in Monaco

The cars parked outside of the casino had "do not touch" signs on the front to avoid grubby paysan hands from ruining the finely polished exterior. Also, the casino wouldn't let you in unless you were properly dressed. They were constantly turning people away at the door even just to go look inside.

In between window-shopping and strolling the docks, we visited the Musée Océanographique de Monaco which was pretty cool. Mostly because of the absolutely incredible view from the rooftop deck of the museum...

...and also because of the shark tank where you could pet the little sharks. No joke. You can pet them. Most of them were lame and stayed sleeping on the bottom, but there was one who was quite possibly the runt of the litter and a little messed up in the head... he kept dancing around the tank with his head out of the water swaying from side to side. Coincidentally, this is the one who kept coming over to say hi. The trick was to leave your hand just above the water by the edge of the tank and not to move too quickly so you didn't freak them out. Then I would reach out slowly as he swam by to pet the side of his body. Pretty cool. Even if it was a children's exhibit...

Stopping for a swim in Monaco!

The week was over too quickly and I was not ready to leave the sun and the heat but it was time to head back to the city. On our way back, we stopped in Avignon to visit my mother's French pen pal since childhood. Avignon is such a cool city.

The old city is still mostly walled-in and you can visit the famous Pont d'Avignon. You can even dance on it if you so desire. My cousin and I did...

Sur le pont d'avignon

L'on y danse, l'on y danse

Sur le pon't d'avignon

L'on y danse tous en rond

We explored the city a little bit but we didn't have enough time to visit the entire Papal Palace, we just poked our heads in and walked around the grounds, so that will have to be for another time! And for those of you behind on your Papal history, the Papacy moved to Avignon from 1309 to 1377. I just like saying Papacy.

After our papal visit (okay I'm done now, I swear), we began the torturous drive back to Paris. Don't ever drive anywhere in France in August. Just don't do it. And if you must, don't stop at a public restroom. It's not pretty. It's sort of like India.

Anyways, we finally made it back to Paris and had one night's rest before heading off on our next adventures: Chartres, Giverny, and Versailles. To be continued...